A Goblin Christmas
by AmberFox and Lyell
Summary: OneShot Just a little Christmas humor... Involving a frying pan.


**A Goblin Christmas by AmberFox**

(Disclamer: Don't own, Bla bla bla... Just a little X- mas fic, hope you enjoy!)

It was Christmas day. The snow had fallen outside our favourite heroines home as she made her way downstairs in her light-blue nightdress, followed by a hyper Toby in red PJ's. Sarah Williams had told him not to, but the now ten year old boy had insisted that, since it was Christmas, it was Ok to wake up their dad and Karen so that they could begin opening their presents.

At 7 o'clock on a Saturday morning.

Trudging towards the living room she thought that her father and step-mother had gotten off lightly. She awoke to her little brother's cries of 'Its CHRISTMAS!!!' and him jumping on her bed at 6:30. Not something she was to happy to wake up to.

"Don't touch that pile Toby." She ordered her little brother in a firm, yet tired voice. "You got us all up to open the presents together, so you're gonna have to wait until Karen and Dad are downstairs."

"Aww." Little Toby whined beside the Christmas tree in disappointment. "But that will take _hours_!"

"Life's not fair." His sister confirmed to him. She certainly learned that from the Labyrinth. And its ruler. "I'll tell you what," She said, going over to Toby and scuffing up his longish blond hair even more then it already was. "Why don't I fix us up some breakfast, huh? What do yah say to some Christmas bacon and eggs while we wait for them?"

"I'd say 'Hello, bacon and eggs. Merry Christmas. Nice to eat yah!'" Toby replied with a mischievous grin.

"You know you look like Jareth when you smile like that?" Sarah told him with a small smile on her face.

"Really?!" He said in delight. As far as he could remember his sister had told him the tale of the Labyrinth and how she had given up her dreams to save him. It was his favourite bedtime story. Especially the parts with the Goblin King in it. Whenever his parents were out and Sarah had to babysit he would always ask for the story to be told and would even turn his bathrobe into a cloak and play as the king. That always got a laugh out of Sarah. Toby could tell that she missed Jareth, by the sad glint in her eyes, but he always cheered her up with one of his many impressions of the creatures from the Underground.

"Especially with that hair style." Sarah said with a nod. And with that, she headed towards the kitchen to fix up some holiday grub.

Entering the kitchen, Sarah opened the fridge and inspected its contents. _'Great.' _She thought. _'The only type of egg we have is the nog variety, and the bacon is squished against the Turkey. Karen knows I hate turkey! Why can't we just buy a goose or something instead? That's far more Christmassy then turkey. Who ever heard of Tiny Tim saying 'God bless us, everyone.' over a turkey!'_

She was so into her thoughts that she didn't hear the other adults come downstairs, still groggy from Toby's wake-up call.

"Sarah!" Her father called to her. "We're ready to open the gifts now!"

"Coming Dad!" She called back as she closed the fridge door.

There was a almighty crash from the living room and a scream! Picking up a cast-iron frying pan Sarah burst into the room, ready to bash whoever startled her family.

What she saw was something she'd never expected to see.

All around her sitting room, on the couch, by the TV, even in the tree, hundreds of little grey/green creatures with big pointy ears and noses had popped out of nowhere and were now reeking havoc in her home.

"What the hell are they?!?" Karen shrieked. She and her husband were now in the far corner of the room, holding each other for dear life, boxed in like a couple of trapped rats.

Toby, on the other hand, was having the time of his young life. "So cool!" He exclaimed. "Just like my dream!" He prodded one of the beasts with a finger, then laughed when it giggled.

Sarah growled. "…Goblins." Storming over to one of them, frying pan still in hand, she grabbed it and held it at eye-level by the scruff of its neck. "And just _what _are you doing here?" She said threateningly, much like their king would do.

"Please, your ladyship, miss," The goblin (A he) in her grasp said, quivering under her penetrating stare. "You are the only one we know who'll help us."

"Oh?" She said, realising that it was not Jareth's fault that her peace had been disturbed. "What with."

"Elves have stormed the castle and are trying to take over the Labyrinth! Hundreds of them! All under the evil Earl Elberon, they are miss!" Another goblin said beside her.

"Right!" Sarah said, getting angrier by the second. How dare someone try to take over the Labyrinth! And on Christmas too! It wasn't the goblins fault, they were looking for help for their king… Help from her. And throwing her into the fight at Christmas was also making her pretty mad! Blowing the secret that she knew a king from a enchanted kingdom wasn't helping the situation, either. "Take me to the throne room of the palace immediately!"

"Why the throne room?" Toby asked from his position near the tree, now surrounded by goblins. It seemed that they had taken a liking to the little human and his impressions of the beasts underground.

"Fea's are theatrical. If there's to be a final battle for a crown it's bound to be in the throne room. Just them and their melodramatic witty retorts and phrases. Now let's go!" She said to the goblin in her grasp.

There was a small pop, and they were gone.

Another small pop later Sarah now found herself in the throne room, overlooking one of the most dramatic scene since her school play of 'King Lear'. Jareth, wearing silvery armour, was duelling a dark-cloaked fae with black armour and a horned helmet, concealing his face.

"It is time to end this fight!" Jareth told his opponent with gallantry.

"Your armies has been defeated King Jareth." Said Earl Elberon from under his helmet. "Once my legion of elves reaches the castle, I shall be crowned king of everything you see before you!"

"Not while I still live!" Jareth said as he attacked his foe. Sword clashed against sword as the two rivals dancing back and forth, battling for victory and the kingdom.

"You fool." Elberon said as he pushed Jareth away from him with his blade. "What makes you think you can defeat me? With you out of the way I'll be able to take over the next kingdom, then the next! Taking over the Underground and beyond! No one will stop me! Ahahahahahah!!!"

"Guess again!" A voice said from behind the villain. Sarah had enough of this theatrical nonsense. With stealth she didn't know she had she dropped her goblin captive, sneaked up behind Elberon and, after yelling her comment, bashed him across the face with her frying pan, sending the stunned earl to the floor.

"You little twerp!" She yelled to the fallen fae. "Eat frying pan!" And with that she carried out her onslaught and continued bashing the earl with her pan.

"Sarah?" Jareth said, extremely puzzled.

"How dare you!" She continued to yell. "Because of you I've got to save the kingdom at Christmas! Never-attack-a-kingdom-on-an-Above-ground-holiday!" She said, hitting him as she said each word.

"Nooo! This can't be happening! Why isn't my armour protecting me from this human!" Elberon cried. Indeed, the armour seemed to hiss and burn where the pan had hit it, giving Sarah more vulnerable places to whack. One last blow to the head silence him as she looked over the victim of her rage to the shining knight figure beside her.

"Cast-iron cook-wear," She told the Goblin King. "Good for bashing fae's." Before he could reply she picked up the goblin that took her there, who had gone pale as he witnessed her wrath, and told it, "Ok, can I go home now?"

With yet another small pop they disappeared back to the Aboveground.

One last pop landed the two travellers back in the house.

"War's over!" The little goblin shouted over the din of his comrades as Sarah set him down. With a some happy "Yippy"'s and a couple of sad "Awww"'s The rest of the goblins disappeared back to the Underground, leaving the living room the way it was before their arrival.

"Just when I was getting started too." Toby said sadly as his audience left him.

"Where's Karen and Dad?" Sarah asked, not seeing her parents anywhere.

"They fainted in the corner when you disappeared." The boy said pointing to the ceiling. "I got a little help putting them back to bed. So tell me," He said excitedly now. "Did you see Jareth and save the kingdom from the evil Earl Elberon? Say that ten times fast!"

Sarah laughed and told him what happened. "…So now," She finished up. " I have to wash this pan of burnt fae metal because everything a fae spells is useless against any man-made iron. It's like silver to a werewolf or vampire for them."

"Cool!" Her little brother said. "You must have kicked some major butt!"

"Indeed she did." A voice purred from the couch. Draped over it lay Jareth, all armour gone and in his original outfit of tight leggings, boots, gloves and flowing white poet shirt. "But one has to wonder…" The kings voice trailed as he gazed at the woman in front of him. "How and why did an extremely beautiful, yet angry woman in a nightdress appear before me in a vision of loveliness and struck my enemy down with a kitchen utensil?"

"Your Jareth!" Toby said in amassment. "This is the coolest Christmas ever!!!" He then jumped up and gave his hero a squeeze. "You're my favourite character, do you know that? I always play you when Sarah tells my the story! Always!"

"Do you now?" The Goblin King said patiently. "It seems that you have been talking about me Sarah. I'm flattered."

"Don't be." Sarah snapped stubbornly. "I only saved your hide because the goblins asked me to and it was the only way to get them out of the house."

"And yet you saved me." Jareth purred seductively. Well, as seductively as he could with a kid in his arms trying to hug the life out of him. "You, Sarah Williams, heard of my battle and hurried to my aid. Without even a second thought." He slowly slipped Toby off him and made his way to the now blushing woman. "Does it not show your true feelings yet, my dear." He told her, cupping her cheek with his gloved hand. "You rescued me…"

"I rescued you…" Sarah said vaguely.

Then a lightbulb went off in her head.

"Yes," She said strongly, stepping away from his warm touch. "I rescued you. Me. Sarah Williams. A human girl rescued you, the all mighty Jareth, King of the Goblins, from certain destruction and doom with a frying pan!"

Jareth looked a bit shocked. "No," He said, trying to control the damage upon his ego. "It's supposed to tell you that your still in love with me."

"Nah auh," She mocked. "It means that a human girl, with no powers what-so-ever, can defeat your enemies while you struggle against them." She then laughed and pointed to him. "Weakling!" She crooned in triumph.

"Sarah?" Toby interrupted in mock-concern, trying to silence his gloating sister. "What's that above your head?"

Sarah looked up, only to be greeted by a small bundle of green leaves and white berries. "Oh, no."

"Mistletoe." Toby told Jareth. "It's traditional to kiss whoever's underneath it to bring luck."

"Is it now…?" The Goblin King purred. Before she could object Jareth held Sarah in his arms and kissed her with white-hot passion, dipping her as he did so.

After a few minutes of kissing, their bliss was broken up by a mutter of "Get a room." Breaking apart they realised that Toby was watching them, with a look of disgust on his face. "Eww! My sister's kissing!" He said with a face. "Why don't you just get married to him, he's not gonna leave you alone until you do."

"Young Toby is right." Jerath said to the woman still in his arms. "I will hound you to the ends of the earth and back until you return to me."

"Nothing says 'I love you' like a stalker." Sarah muttered to herself red with embarrassment. Sighing she said, "Fine, I'll stay in the Underground with you for a week-"

"Two." Jareth pestered.

"-Fine two weeks. But if thing's don't work out you send me home. Not the Bog of Eternal Stench, or someplace equally gruesome."

"Agreed." The king said with a triumphant smile on his face.

"Hey, what about mum and dad?" Toby said, now heading towards the stairs. "They're gonna flip when they find out about this."

"If." She said with a smile. Looking up at Jareth she said, "I think it's time you left. After the new year I'll call you."

"Are you sure you don't need me to wipe their memories?" He asked her in concern.

"Don't worry. I know what to do." And with that Jareth left in a Puff of glittery smoke.

"Right." Sarah said once again. Heading towards the stairs she said. "Toby? If they ask about goblins or little men, just act dumb. Ok?"

"What ya going to do?" Toby asked, following his sister up the stairs.

"Deny everything." Was the reply.

Entering the room and seeing that their parents were still out, she signalled to Toby to jump on the bed.

"GET UP!!!" He yelled, taking a running jump and landing between the two sleeping figures.

The elderly couple bolting awake.

"Toby?" Karen asked.

"We were waiting for you to come down, we can't open the present without you, you know." Sarah told them. "I'm not surprised you went back to sleep. Toby woke me up at half-past-six."

"I had this really weird nightmare…" Sarah's Dad said.

"Tell us later," Toby told him. "Right now PRESENTS!!!" And he was out of the room like a shot.

"Don't worry Dad," Sarah said. "Just remember it's only a dream…"

(R&R. I didn't get meny in my last fic. Sigh No one loves me. :(( )


End file.
